Monday, August 26, 2013

Looking Up

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices and with my song I will praise HIm" Ps 28:7

Three weeks after my last ‘loading dose’ of the infusion, things started looking up. I was praying for remission and although very weak with little stamina, the extreme pain was absent. I was sure I could regain my strength if I could ride again, but I cannot ride alone anymore as I cannot get off to open gates and the likelihood of my having an accident is exponentially higher now, even riding the old gentle horses that have replaced the colts I used to ride.

Still, relief from pain is a big deal and I celebrated hope for the future. I was surprised with a LOT of company, but helpful company. I was grateful for the grace and understanding everyone gave me because of my condition. While it was exhausting to do all the things I wanted to do, it was rewarding as well.

I was totally blessed by an answer to much prayer, as I need someone here to help me now and then. Being alone 90% of my day is hard as I have to motivate myself even when I hurt or am terribly fatigued. Another person is a good distraction from the pain and as I am not one of those who can sit while someone else is working it is a good incentive to keep trying. A friend from long ago came and we found it to be to our mutual benefit for her to move in with us. I’m looking forward to it both as a relief to some of my fears and limitations as well as good companionship. We share many things, a love of animals, a love of riding, and above all, our faith, so it will be a fun adventure.

The benefits of the infusion are slowly wearing off, too soon. Almost two weeks before the next infusion the pain began to return and all the previous symptoms are present, so  remission isn’t here yet, but they are going to bump up the dose so I hope and pray this next round goes the distance in between them.

Meantime, I lean on Him and gratefully so. He is bringing my sons up in October and for the first time in 8 years the entire family will be together. There is nothing I could wish for that could trump that.

How He has given me the desire of my heart.

If you don’t know Him, I encourage you to reach out and meet Him. Life will never be the same again.

"Call to me and I will show you great and unsearchable things that you do not know" Jer 33:3