"The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices and with my song I will praise HIm" Ps 28:7
Three weeks after my last ‘loading dose’ of the infusion, things started looking up. I was praying for remission and although very weak with little stamina, the extreme pain was absent. I was sure I could regain my strength if I could ride again, but I cannot ride alone anymore as I cannot get off to open gates and the likelihood of my having an accident is exponentially higher now, even riding the old gentle horses that have replaced the colts I used to ride.
Still, relief from pain is a big deal and I celebrated hope for the future. I was surprised with a LOT of company, but helpful company. I was grateful for the grace and understanding everyone gave me because of my condition. While it was exhausting to do all the things I wanted to do, it was rewarding as well.
I was totally blessed by an answer to much prayer, as I need someone here to help me now and then. Being alone 90% of my day is hard as I have to motivate myself even when I hurt or am terribly fatigued. Another person is a good distraction from the pain and as I am not one of those who can sit while someone else is working it is a good incentive to keep trying. A friend from long ago came and we found it to be to our mutual benefit for her to move in with us. I’m looking forward to it both as a relief to some of my fears and limitations as well as good companionship. We share many things, a love of animals, a love of riding, and above all, our faith, so it will be a fun adventure.
The benefits of the infusion are slowly wearing off, too soon. Almost two weeks before the next infusion the pain began to return and all the previous symptoms are present, so remission isn’t here yet, but they are going to bump up the dose so I hope and pray this next round goes the distance in between them.
Meantime, I lean on Him and gratefully so. He is bringing my sons up in October and for the first time in 8 years the entire family will be together. There is nothing I could wish for that could trump that.
How He has given me the desire of my heart.
If you don’t know Him, I encourage you to reach out and meet Him. Life will never be the same again.
"Call to me and I will show you great and unsearchable things that you do not know" Jer 33:3
Even though you write of returning pain, Your post left me smiling. I am thrilled that you have found someone to help who is more than jus a helper, but a friend and companion. And to have the whole family together is going to be so much fun. Big Warm Hugs....
ReplyDeleteI am very excited to have everyone all together
DeleteKim I am so happy that both or your sons will be there at the same time.. all togather as a family.. I will keep you in my prayers and I do pray that the pain will stop completely.. Keep your faith and your eyes upon the Lord... He will always be there for you... Babs...
ReplyDeleteAmen, Babs and thank you
DeleteI want to thank you for having the courage to write about your pain so eloquently. It takes great courage to allow oneself to look at an enemy that ravishes our body but still hold firm to the faith that sustains our soul. I truly believe that the Lord lead me to your words because I selfishly needed them but you led me to a place where I could forget myself and pray for you. I had forgotten that we are priests of the most high and as such we face this world as warriors in this struggle. Defeat is not an option. Thank you. May the Lord bless you and keep you and always give you his Shalom (peace).
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by and taking the time to say hello, and thanks for the prayer. I shall gratefull return the favor
DeleteSometimes in the darkest hours I find hope, other times I find a gift. And other times I find a lesson. One thing is constant in every experience. I grow into a better man then before.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I have been reading these posts and crying. It is almost like I wrote them myself. You are the first person to put into words what I am feeling myself. Without God carrying me I could not face this disease every day for the rest of my life. It is hard sometimes to make people understand - thank you, I'm so glad I found your blogs.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you. I'm sorry you suffer, but know you are not alone in any way. We are two of many, trying to find our way through this life and our purpose in the pain. Hard as it is sometimes, He knows what He has planned and it will be accomplished :)
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